I am such an idiot. I am madly deeply in love with someone, (For the purpose of not humiliating anyone, I will call my this person Perfect) and have been denying it to myself for a year and a half. I finally broke down last night and told him. We talked on the phone for about an hour, hour and a half. I told him I couldn't be his friend anymore, but, Perfect says he doesn't want to lose our friendship. I tried to make him mad so that he wouldn't want to talk to me ever again, but he is such a sweetheart. He said that no matter what I say to him or tell him, he will never stop being my friend.

I cried myself to sleep, and woke up 3 times or more thinking about him. I dreamed about him (again...) God, Help Me, Father, I Need Your Guidance.